Dopeless Healer.

Shane McUntishness of Betty Hill, Scotland, was reported to have stated, during a trial at his local Sheriff's court, that he had been high on marijuana because he was trying to cure his Aunt Floss McUntishness of her heroin addiction, and that he may well have been able to stop her dealer from supplying her, when he scored said marijuana.
The court, dealing with the divorce of Rupert and Myrtle Cockshaw, adjourned for twenty minutes while Shane and his Aunt Floss were taken into custody for further questioning, according to the World Weakly News, last Thursday.
Shane, after being let off with a caution and advised not to return to the court, unless told to do so, told reporters that he was just fed up with his Aunty constantly nicking his telly and selling it to feed her habit. And he sincerely hoped that his demonstration in court would be an inspiration to Society for generations to come, before going home to listen to the football on the radio.


I'll bet he ends up being sent to Margate!