Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of My Wife.

I must say that I feel like an enormous stone has been lifted from my 34C chest, now that I realise on which side my bread is buttered.
And such a relief to realise why I've always thought that men were a bunch of twats. Must've been wishful thinking, eh.
Though it's obviously come as a bit of a shock, as I've found myself doing some pretty odd things since my startling revelation.
For instance now, every time I sit on the loo, I fling myself onto the floor shouting "The Germans are coming, the Germans are coming, hande hoch!", I've shaved my eyebrows off, tea now tastes like coffee and visa versa.
So I've found myself peeing in a bucket, wearing a floppy hat and drinking Horlicks (how appropriate), during my period of adjustment.
I'm sure I'll settle down a bit when I get used to the idea that sex will, henceforth, be lasting for more than three minutes and that I'll never encounter a cock again.

I really don't think that I'm going to miss that. Though if I do at any point, I can always pop over to that Peter Chuckspilled's rubbish blog. I'm sure that'll get me back on track!

I really must congratulate my hypnotherapist when I see her next week. Perhaps I'll give her a little pat on the bottom and massage her breasts for her, by way of a thank you.

Although, as far as the smoking is concerned, I don't think that's working out as planned, as I seem to have developed a penchant for chain smoking cigars.
Ah well, I always though that hypnotism was a bunch of bollocks, anyway.

Still, it's all worth it, just to have met such an insightful woman and be pointed in the right direction.

For me now, the thigh's the limit!