Socks And Dregs And Sausage Rolls.

So that's it then!
I have finally, once-and-for-all, completely had it with men!
What is up with you creatures, eh?
It's really not good enough to just tart yourselves up when you go out, in the hope of luring some poor, innocent damsel (er me, sorta) back to your squalid plague pit!
It's also completely unfair to take advantage of the fact that said damsel is drunk enough that she won't notice until the morning, by which time you'll have had your wicked way.
I shouldn't have been surprised, I suppose, when I wriggled under the sheets to give this gunge monster a good morning kiss and ended up with a gob full of sausage roll. What the Hell was it doing there? Who takes a sausage roll to bed with them?
Jeez!
I'm now the proud owner of a pair of tea-stained knickers that I had to fish out of one of the many half empty cups littered about the place, and a skirt that smells of foot cheese.

I feel like I need a holiday!