Soapy, Leaky Cock.

At least, that's how it came out in Bon Apetite last night, when, head full of beer and quite obviously things other than food, I tried to order a cock-a-leekie soup.
"I'm afraid we don't have that on the menu." I was told.
Luckily, to save further embarrassment, when I replied "So I suppose a shag's out of the question, then?" it actually came out as "I'll just have egg and chips, then."

Phew!

And my date wanted to know what I'll be doing tonight!
Bonus! (unless he was wondering where not to go!)