Onward Christian Soldiers.

I'm one of those 'lucky' souls, and I'm sure there are a few others who can sympathise, that seems to attract all manner of loonies.
I only have to stick my head out of the door and there'll either be someone trying to chew their own nose off, someone 'driving' a suitcase along the road or a pack of God botherers lunging for my knocker!

I'll put up with it for most of the time, smiling politely and nodding my head in what seems to be the right places, but I do struggle to contain myself while in the pub with a gut full of beer.

So, sitting in the pub with a gut full of beer a couple of nights ago, I was accosted by 7th dan God-fu expert, enquiring after my religious status.
He seemed a little agitated and confused when I told him that I was a devout Christian in my previous incarnation but, this time round, and with a penchant for straining fruit preserves, I'd decided to become a Muslin.

"You'll burn in Hell!" I was told.

I think he may be mistaken about that, as I have no intention of going to Margate, what-so-ever!