Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Let's Heat The Field Up!

Nope, not a call to arms, so calm down all you survivalists out there.
While I was tracking down the not-so-elusive Three Foot on U-Bend, I also found a firm old favourite that I'd not heard for decades.

A cheery song to lift the spirits with the approach of Winter (weren't we supposed to have Summer first?), and take the chill off our souls.
Still, with a bit of luck we'll have a mild Winter and it'll be Summer again before anyone realises that the seasons changed.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Beer Dead Woman.

Much as I love a good pint or three, I've encountered a sharp uprise, of late, in the amount of people around town that bang on about it to the exclusion of all else!

Well I've had about a gut-full of it!

So when I was approached by a middle-aged woman in the pub, last night, who cheerily anounced that the pint I was drinking used a hint of blah-blah hops, delicately balanced with lightly roasted something-or-other, I'm afraid I told her to fuck *ff!
She looked a bit taken aback at first, but, the true bore coming out in her, she plodded on as if I'd said "Really? How interesting! Do tell me more."

Still, pub bores are easily combatted these days, by simply buggering off outside for a smoke. Except the smoking bores, of course, but oddly enough that particular type of bore is quite thin on the ground.
I've found that changing the subject to 'anal sex' works quite well, too!

Legs 111

As I gave the fella a mention recently, I thought I'd see if I could track him down on YouTube.
Is there anything you can't find there?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Riding Along On The Christ Of A Wave.

I see those boffins in the World of sport have come up with a new recreational pass-time. By simply removing the wheels from a skateboard, it's now possible to glide across the surface of the sea, as though you are the Saviour, Himself!

Goodness knows where this will lead. They'll probably be tugging themselves along with boats, launching themselves down the sides of mountains and sticking sails on the things, before you know it!

Here's a picture of one, if anyone is interested....

Though you'll notice from the picture that they're only experimenting with them, using convicts, at the mo.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

A Large Hadron Colida, Please. Stirred But Not Shaken (Hopefully).

Well I don't know about you lot, but I'm getting pretty fed up with all the hype surrounding Mankinds' latest, greatest, potential achievement.
Another typical boy thing, is all it is. Trying to find out how something works by smashing it to bits!
What with the uneducated fearing for their lives and the over-educated, with their usual social ineptitude, trying to assure the uneducated that they're completely thick and should stick to worrying about plot twists in Eastenders, which is about as complex a problem as they could possibly hope to handle, it was all starting to get a tad tiresome.
Until I overheard a conversation in the pub, the other night, that raised concerns that I've not heard anyone address so far, that is.
This fella was suggesting that, though CERN claims to be conducting this experiment to simulate conditions during the Big Bang, it all falls on it's arse a bit when you consider that one of the fundamental conditions of said event would be that all matter would be travelling away from where it started, and none of it would be crashing head-on into any other bit of it, what-so-ever!
In short, any collisions would be at sub-light speeds.
These boffins at CERN though, are intending to collide solid matter, head-on, at speeds approaching light speed, effectively creating an impact speed just short of twice the speed of light.
Something that has possibly never occured naturally, due to the constantly expanding nature of the Universe, ever before.
Without brushing up on my physics, or my understanding of time dilation or the subtleties of near-infinite mass smacking head-first into near-infinte mass at a theoretically impossible speed, I don't think it would be appropriate to comment further.

In fact, my poor girlie brain, which can't even conceptualise three dimensions in reverse (so I'm assured), is quite at a loss as to how the device on the far right of this picture is going to help, if it all goes tits-up, at all!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

The Word On The Street.

Just like most people, I like to 'get away from it all' from time to time. And just like most people, I suspect, the 'all' that I'd wanted to get away from is occasionally where I'd much rather be, when I got there.
Well I'd never been to Manchester before!
Still, you live and learn, eh?
Despite the desolate grimness of the vast majority of it, I did manage to glean a little enjoyment from the trip, when I went to see a comic 'artiste' by the name of John Cooper Clark. In fact, I enjoyed the show so much that, in an unprecedented fit of charity, I bought his CD.
Though I did get the feeling from his rather cynical lyrics that Mr Clark, throughout his life so far, has been beaten up and mugged quite a lot.

I'll play this little snippet at you, as it so reminded me of the road that my hotel was in. Apologies in advance for those of you who find the Mancunian accent a little harsh, but personally I think it's really, really grate.