Cream Of The Crap.

Considering myself to be an intelligent, discerning and astonishingly beautiful woman, it does beg the question of why I constantly end up with such appalling men!
I'm seriously starting to wonder if there's a decent one among you!
The latest idiot to, er, come my way, started off like all the others. Handsome, caring and the perfect gentleman who couldn't do enough to please me. This is it, I thought. Finally, the man of my dreams!
Now call me naive if you like, but I thought I was about to be treated like a real Princess when he offered to take me back to his place (for the first time) for a golden shower.
Imaging a bejeweled bathroom, decked out with precious metal fittings, I was somewhat disappointed to discover a grubby little bog with a tiny, dirty bath, where he wanted me to sit while he pissed all over me!

Well there's another one that now only has a 50% chance of siring children!

Maybe I should consider 'chasing the bean' after all?