Flat Truth.

I had the builder round yesterday, and what a helpful little soul he was, indeed!
After informing me that I had a felt roof, and there were never any tiles there in the first place (doh!), he went on to point out a few flaws that I did have.

1. My breasts were starting to slump and needed some extra support.

2. There's a nasty looking crack beneath them that could do with filling in.

3. My back passage is quite mouldy and starting to crumble.

He said that he could correct all these problems for £150 so I decided to take him up on his kind offer.

Well, with five weeks off work, I could do with the money!