I had the builder round yesterday, and what a helpful little soul he was, indeed!
After informing me that I had a felt roof, and there were never any tiles there in the first place (doh!), he went on to point out a few flaws that I did have.
1. My breasts were starting to slump and needed some extra support.
2. There's a nasty looking crack beneath them that could do with filling in.
3. My back passage is quite mouldy and starting to crumble.
He said that he could correct all these problems for £150 so I decided to take him up on his kind offer.
Well, with five weeks off work, I could do with the money!
Coming Back With Front.
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Good grief, this thing is still here? Doesn't Blogger ever put it's rubbish
out for the binmen?
6 years ago
2 comments:
My solution would be: A king size bed; fresh cotton bed linen; candlelight; a very long, sensual massage with warm Patchouli oil; soft musi...oh...ermm...you're talking about chimney breasts aren't you...ermm...well in that case it's five parts sand and one of cement. (One day this confusion is going to get me into trouble!)
My solution would be a cold shower.
Pop yourself along to Churchill's Tavern (do they have a band playing today?) and avail yourself of the upper echelons of the bar staff, a colder shower you couldn't wish to meet.
They never fail to dampen my ardour, even when I'm suffering a heavy bout of Niagara!
As it happens, I am feeling a little hornrimmed today (haven't seen Mikey for almost a week), and if they have one of their appalling choices of band on this afternoon, I may have to take a spoonful of my own medicine.
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