Thrombosis Man.

While watching 'Heroes', America's latest attempt at instilling hope into it's masses by making them believe that around one in five of them will develop the ability to fly telepathically through walls in a changeable future-scape and save the World from anything non- American, I noticed a rather disturbing ommision.
Where are all the anti-heroes?
I've spotted one, so far, who has the enviable ability to lop the tops off the heads of 'the good guys'.
Whoopie-doo!
So the following list, if they feel they can be honest enough about life to make use of it, is of a few additions to the cast, in order to redress this equipoisal inconsistency.

1. Thrombosis Man. Bestowed with the power to cause blood to spontaneously clot his victims legs, this character could reduce the fear of flying in many people by offering them the option of 'copping it' whether they fly or not.

2. Chlamydia Boy. With the ability to render people 'diseased' without them even realising it, this anti-hero could actually reduce the queues in doctors' waiting rooms through the power of ignorance, alone. Not so fictional, this one, as I've actually met him in three different guises, on four different occasions.

3. Correct Change Woman. Most likely in the form of a 'little old lady', this one could wreak havoc with the bus system, causing all the busses on a single route to bunch up into a long line, and also negate any need for Thrombosis Man to visit supermarkets.

4. Sexually Inadequate Milkman. Blessed with the knack for dispelling folklore and myth, which have existed for many years, surrounding the sexual prowess of our Ernies, this fella could cause bitter disappointment for housewives up and down the Country.

Or, on the other hand, do we neccesarily look to our tellies for truth and enlightenment?
Probably not, otherwise Eastenders wouldn't be nearly as popular as it is, I suppose.
Personally, if I want the wool pulled over my eyes and to be fed confusing nonsense, I'll visit Thanet Life. Thankfully that doesn't happen unless I'm feeling paticularly depressed.