Loose Willy.

Holy rickety door clasps, Batman, my Willy has only done a runner from his little cage by my bed.

I've looked everywhere but there's no sign of him at all.

I didn't think it would be possible to become so attached to a creature in such a short period of time, but the stress and anxiety of it all is causing quite a tingly, gnawing sensation in my lower abdomen.

Is it too early to call the police?