Rent-A-Ghost.

It's slowly dawned on me over the last year, as occasionally some things do, that a great deal of the mischievous behavior of my ethereal friends, North of the border between life and death, can be attributed to boredom. That is to say, on 'the other side' without substance or form, there's not a bloody lot to do other than bother those who have those things, namely us, on the grounds that they're more enlightened and can better appreciate having them now that they haven't any more.

A bit like benefit scroungers, really!

But where the difference lies is that some of these spectres would like to get out of that rut and change the hollow echoes that reflect their former lives.

Though, naturally, there would be a small charge for services rendered!

But the benefits to their clients could be enormous, as outlined in some of the special talents that are available, listed below...

Rod, former entertainer, can get just about anyone to start a fight, merely by inserting his spectral fist into their anus. He can be an astonishing nuisance to anyone attempting to fix their TV arial.

Fred is quite adept at hiding things around your house, in particular your children. Ideal for quietening the homestead for a day or two. He's looking forward to his wife Rose joining forces with him at some point and, I suppose, so are we!

Chris, despite a previous tendancy towards confusion over which goes on first, his underpants or his trousers, has quite an array of skills. These include making the Earth rotate backwards and reversing time, flirting with female reporters (though I'm quite sure he won't want to do that around these parts), and making horses fall over. He also claims to be rather good at saving the World, though as I understand it, he's done that so many times already that it's become a bit boring and he'd just as soon not bother any more.

These special ex-people are just a few of many that are expressing an interest in hiring out their skills. I'll add more as they come in.

If anyone is interested in procuring any of these very special services, please contact me on the email address at the top of this page to discuss terms.