Upon spotting a rather generous 'size 16' lady in Churchill's last night, who'd almost, but not quite, managed to squeeze into a pair of 'size 12' jeans, I thought I'd try to save her from the potential embarrassment of her situation by having a discreet word with her about her error in judgement.
Feeling my way gently around her predicament, I asked her if she'd missed that day at her comprehensive when they taught everyone fractions, pointing out that 16 into 12 is, in fact, a bottom-heavy fraction, whereas she was looking more 'top-heavy', with her arse being pushed halfway up her back, as it was.
Yet again, while trying to help someone, I was rewarded with a torrent of abuse!
It reminded me, a little, of the time that I suggested high-heels and a wig to a rather aggressive, 5'4" ginger fella.
Aren't some people touchy?
The Bull's Hit.
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After planning to spend the weekend by the sea in Ramsgate, and then
feeling like I'd spent the weekend in it, it would be so easy to blame the
council. Bu...
14 years ago
2 comments:
Reminds me of a story a dresser at ITV told me once. She used to have to snip the size 16 labels out of everything she bought for a certain presenter and sow in size 14 labels instead, as the presenter was adamant that was her size.
Of course, I couldn't possible let on who the presenter was. Oh alright, I'll give you a clue. She's on Channel 4 in the afternoon these days, presents with her husband, whose name is the same as mine, and both their names are the title of the show.
Oops, maybe I've given too much away there.
Is it wrong, do you think, to be smug about the fact that I have, in the past, been likened to Kate Moss?
I've also been compared to Sphagnum Moss, but that's mostly when I've drunk so much Chartreuse that my body starts rejecting it.
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