Whore's Chestnuts.

According to my friend Sophie, last night, that'll be the moment when a gentleman romantically presents his paid girlfriend with a pearl necklace.
Quite how she got on to that, when everyone else was talking about Autumn, I'm not sure.
Well she was a wee bit tipsy.
Anyhow, it earned her the new nickname Sophie Titwank, which, as far as I'm concerned, is a vast improvement on her old nickname, Sophie Stickated, which she really isn't!

If any of you happen to come across a woman being referred to as 'Titwank', in the pub, do make sure to ask her about the origins of that. The poor thing suffers quite badly with shyness and a blush can be induced, simply by smiling at her.
That ought to make her light up like a Christmas tree!