Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Mel 'n' Omar.

Far be it from me to mock the afflicted, but when you meet a couple who appear to be more wart and mole than actual skin, all kinds of thoughts manifest themselves, voluntarily or otherwise.
However, as they seemed to have invoked their own little exclusion zone in the pub, my heart went out to them, along with the offer of conversation.
I think that caught them by surprise every bit as much as their appearance did to me, but, after breaking the ice and sweeping introductions behind us, they actually turned out to be every bit as poxy as they looked!
I don't think I'd ever met quite as bitter and resentful a couple in my whole life.
But being the charitable and understanding soul that I am, I bit my tongue and forged ahead, as though none of us were hating every second of it. I got the distinct impression that chatting wasn't one of their more finely honed skills. That and liking the rest of the World. And when the conversation turned to problems that were encountered, and precautions that had to be taken, during the act of love, I'm afraid I had to take my leave and slope off to the loo to supress second helpings of my tea.
Luckily, after 20 minutes of grappling with the contents of my stomach, I returned to find them gone.

I should add, BTW, that those aren't actually their names up there, but psuedonyms to protect their real identity. Though if you ever came across them, they'd be quite easy to, er, spot.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

To plagiarise the catchphrase recently made popular by a market comparison website - pimples!

"Mel 'n' Omar." said...

Having just come home from The Leprosy Mission’s work in Africa I and my wife went to have quiet Drink as we were both very tired and weary from the long days and nights helping the lepers.

we as you can imagine just wanted to keep to ourselves..So when a rather loud pushy person barged over to our table(much the worse for drink i am afraid.

when we started discussing the prevalence of aids in Africa and the need for more free precautions(condoms)to be provided.

the loud person suddenly stumbled off to the toilets and could be heard being violently sick( they left a terrible mess)

we made good our escape i understand the loud person has been barred from the pub 'AGAIN'


http://www.leprosymission.org/web/pages/worldwide/africa.html

Anonymous said...

You sure it wasn't Wart Disney? Or Frankie Boyle?

And the woman, was she from 'Ackney?

Lucy Mail said...

Never heard of it 10:23, though I'll bet you're not the first one to accuse someone of plagiarism.

And FYI, I've only ever been barred from a pub once, in my whole life, and that wasn't my fault. It was the fault of a dear, sweet friend from America, who I happen to be picking up from Heathrow later today.
You may have been a tad premature with your multiple barring slur.