Stalkless Stalker.

The downside, I suppose, of being an amazingly attractive woman, is the amount of unwanted attention that I get from men (and some women).
Though if I were honest, I don't get that much, really. I can only assume that the majority of guys think that I'm way out of their league.
But there is this one fella that's been dogging me for ages and really getting on my tits (or wanting to, at least).
Well it all came to a head (literally) last weekend, with my Siamese twin attached to my side wherever I went in Churchills, when I had a flash of inspiration and thought that the best way to get this guy off my back would be to get him on my front and scare him off with a little rough play. He's not too bad looking, just a pain in the arse!
I didn't even need to invite him back, as he just followed me when I left.
To cut a long story short (again, literally), when it came to the nitty gritty, it was all I could do to stifle a laugh, as I'd never seen such a tiny willy in all my life! And when I say all my life, I'm including being bathed with my little brother up until the age of four or five. I think a virgin could survive his onslaught, intact.
Which left me with a bit of a quandary. I may be forthright but I'm not a cruel person, so how do you abuse someone that Mother nature has already been more than unkind enough to, in the first place?
Sigh!
So I suppose I'm going to have to go through the same rigamarole this weekend, unless I can think of a kind way to let this fella (for want of a better word for him) down.
I don't particularly want to avoid Churchills, as Hard Road Blues are playing tonight and I rather like them.

Maybe Deed-poll is the answer?
Lucy Lezzie does have a kind of a ring to it, after all!